Scary movie

Over the last few months I've seen both 'The Grudge' and 'Boogieman', both of which are made by the same guy, both crap.
No one gets scared by films. Apparantly The Exorcist was scary, but that's lies. Though I did jump as the candle blows up in her face in the attic.
So, this is my plan for a scary movie:

A black screen.
Some crappy words fade up. Something like, "don't look away". Tacky? Yes, but meh.
Few more seconds of black.
And bam! It cuts to a scene of a toaster just popping up!
Then back to some black screen and credits.
(No music at all.)

Genius, isn't it? Not sure what I'll call it yet.