Tuesday, March 29, 2005

I had a dream.

[15:28:34] <@Jimmothy> i had the weirdest dream
[15:29:15] <@anu> Do tell
[15:29:28] <@Jimmothy> i don't know where we were going, but we were stood at the bus stop right at the bottom of the
hill. me, dan, and two girls who i've never seen in my life.
[15:30:47] <@Jimmothy> we're stood there, waiting for the bus, and i stick my arm out as one goes by, as you do. every
single time they come shooing past and giving us this awful panicy look. so obviously i'm stood
swearing away at busses as they refuse to stop.
[15:32:22] <@Jimmothy> at one point dan opens his bus pass and its all faded, but really faded. pretty much completely
white, nothing is really detailed enough to make out who we are. so i open mine, same thing. then
we actually look at eachother and it turns out we're dead, you know, in that cliche 'look the same,
but more white all round' way from tv.
[15:33:59] <@Jimmothy> then, two guys pull up all in suits and take dan inside. now the house they take him in is a guy i
knew through highschool. anyway, they're obviously up to somehting but i don't have any urges to go
in and find out what. so i take the car, getting moving, crash it, get it moving again and go on
some mad drive.
[15:35:57] <@Jimmothy> when i'm done driving i'm suddenly in my house remembering all the things i saw on the way, and
noticing how as i'm getting a drink one of these black suit guys is stood there. so i offer him a
drink, he says orange juice, i say we don't have any. then i hear shouting. that house they took
dan in is suddenly my house on the inside. all this shouting is, "You WILL accept Jesus". and after
that i don't remember much..
[15:36:26] <@Jimmothy> so really, i was dead, my friend was dead, these two girls weren't dead, and these two guys wanted
us to accept jesus
[15:36:34] <@Jimmothy> the end
[15:36:43] <@anu> Wow
[15:36:48] <@anu> Just wow.
[15:36:54] <@Jimmothy> did that even make sense?
[15:37:00] <@anu> Not one bit.
[15:37:03] <@Jimmothy> haha
[15:37:11] <@anu> But I'd like to make a movie of it.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Scary movie

Over the last few months I've seen both 'The Grudge' and 'Boogieman', both of which are made by the same guy, both crap.
No one gets scared by films. Apparantly The Exorcist was scary, but that's lies. Though I did jump as the candle blows up in her face in the attic.
So, this is my plan for a scary movie:

A black screen.
Some crappy words fade up. Something like, "don't look away". Tacky? Yes, but meh.
Few more seconds of black.
And bam! It cuts to a scene of a toaster just popping up!
Then back to some black screen and credits.
(No music at all.)

Genius, isn't it? Not sure what I'll call it yet.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Boys aged 10 and 11 'tried to rape' pupil.

A BOY of ten and his 11-year-old classmate dragged a girl into the toilets at an after-school club and tried to rape her, a court heard yesterday.
The boys allegedly took turns to stand guard while they attacked the terrified 11-year-old, warning her: 'If you tell anyone we will beat you up'.
After the incident the girl returned to a skipping game with her friends while the boys headed off to the school sandpit.
As they went accross the playground one shouted: 'Same time tomorrow,' Inner London Crown Court heard.
The older boy, now 12, sobbed moments after he was asked to raise hand so the jury could identify him.
He was cuddled by his solicitor as she poured him a glass of Ribena and wiped his face with a tissue. The younger boy also began to cry as the case was opened, using his sleeve to wipe away his tears.

The boys and alleged victim all attended the same school in North London, the court heard. None can be named for legal reasons.
The girl was waiting for her parents to collect her when the boys called her over. Her best friend who was with her at the time was told to 'back off', jurors heard.
Prosecutor Michael Birnbaum said: 'The two boys dragged her to a toilet and the younger one stood guard outside while the elder was inside trying to get the girl to perform a sex act on him.
'Then the roles were reversed older one stood guard outside the loo while the younger did the same. In addition he ordered the girl to put her legs around his body while he lifted her up.'
The boys deny attempted rape and sexual assault last May. The trial continues.

By Oliver Stallwood.


I felt physically sick on this bus this morning. The above is why.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Lately I have become a consumer whore.

Recently I've decided to buy DVDs and CDs, not download them.

(There's a tiny bit of truth there.)

In the last two weeks I've bought the following:

Trainspotting (2 discs)

Fight Club (2 discs)

Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels; Snatch; Layer Cake (Boxset)

City Of God

Pulp Fiction (2 discs)

American Pie Trilogy (Boxset with 4th disc)

And the new Lemon Jelly album, '64-'95.

This totals to roughly £100. This all started because I wanted to buy the Lemon Jelly album rather than download it, and this was only because I bought the first two for £20 and wanted them to look all nice an boxed.

Now playing: Celaphane - Coming off of DVDs (Plastic Bag Mix)

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Last week I constantly caught myself wondering while my shoelaces wouldn't stay tied.
I have no concentration issues or anything, I just keep thinking about random inane things.

And now I'm out of stuff to say, so I decided Dictionary.com needs a random button. I may learn some nice new words from it, and if I'm lucky they will be big and impressive.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

What is it with everyones English lately

Suddenly everyone doesn't feel up to typing in the slightest - I see "im" everwhere, what's so hard about "i'm"? I don't bother capitalising I's either, but leaving out the '? You lazy fuck.

  • im
  • ill
  • id
It gets worse when they type full sentences including all the , and ;'s.

Also, why are people moving their punctuation away from the words out into the middle by themselves? I don't know if it's right or wrong since I'm no English wizard, but it annoys me, like how the toilet paper being on way wrong does.

It's like the internet is reverting. Next they'll quite happily be typing 'u' instead of 'you' again - then all of a sudden they won't have thumbs. That'll teach 'em.

Sunday, January 16, 2005


Common fears to a mother of young children include the following: Meningitis, the mumps, measles, and chicken pox. There's now a new threat to the growth of your children; bad musical taste. In recent years children have been growing up with poor musical tastes, and the dress sense that comes with them. Do you want your child listening to Britney Spears? Fuck no. Catch this early; catch this now; prevent this bad taste and tarty dress; have your children listen to good music.

As we all know, a child’s first education starts in the home, so turn off the radio. Just do it. Think of the children.

Leaving that radio on is like leaving your child sat with something germ ridden, except these are radio waves, not yucky stuff. The radio waves themselves aren’t harmful, but the constant aural bombardment of over processed vocals and ‘bleep bleep bloop bloop’ noise is. You need to take a stand, and you need to take it now before your child begins to become mesmerized with Top of the Pops and MTV.

Top of the Pops and MTV are major culprits in filling your child’s head with crap.

Not only will they be rolling around all over the place filling their nappies left right and centre, they’ll hum. Oh yeah, humming! This is intolerable. Do you want your child humming away Britney’s latest hit? No, you don’t, and for your own sanity you should prevent this. Later in life your child may want dress like Britney Spears, and that other blonde tart, the dirty one, you know. Anyway, her, and you can’t have that, those hussies.

Your child seeing these crap artists live may result in injuries. Sounds unbelievable, I know, but entirely possible. Have you seen the music videos? Awful, awful stuff.

Do you want your precious bundle of joy trying to do a little Busted-esque jump off the couch? No, you don’t. They could break their tubby little arses if they don’t land right, and no one likes sitting in casualty for four hours.

Do you want them bumpin’ and grindin’ like a miniature whore? No, didn’t think so.

I can only imagine one thing worse that you wouldn’t wish on your child – hip-hop, or a heroin addiction. Or maybe being oh so ‘goth’. Damn those kids are annoying.

Good music should be taught in school. Like the difference between right and wrong.

Hip-hop? Shut up. It’s some guy who’s taken one of his dads records, put it on a turntable and hit play while he has friends round, then they all talk gibberish for a few minutes. Then when they grow up they do it for money! Fuckers.

I suppose you could slag off every single genre of music in the same way, like how there’s a lot of bands that sound like they were recorded in a damp cellar, yet they were recorded in a top end New York studio and mixed in L.A. or something.

I’ll stop now since this was all for my own entertainment, and I was entertained.